episode 1

my owner hates me I think she doesn’t understand what she’s saying is really hurtful – she keeps talking about her other dog that was a great Purina or Papereni  or something and I really feel it’s unfair because she talks about how beautiful he was and what great dog he was and how she misses him so much and sometimes she even cries and.. I’m right here!!!

I’ve heard her say she’s not sure she wants to keep me – she says I’m really unbalanced – I look like two dogs – my head looks like one dog and my body looks like another dog – what is wrong with her – can’t she see I’m one dog??  she says I’m not socialized – whatever that means – but she does say I’m fun to sleep with even though sometimes I growl when she moves her toes – I’m trying to stop doing that..

my last owner didn’t like me either – I guess I growled at the baby – it wasn’t me ..the baby stuck her finger in my ears – anyway I was in a cage a lot of the time and there was this other dog I think it was a Pomerbran or Romera and he was really bad -he tried to hurt me a lot but he got to stay in the house – but ME – I got stuck in a cage!! So I don’t trust people very much and I think the second I they get hold of my collar it’s off to the cage…

one night while we were watching TV my new owner took my collar on and off for like a really long time and then she tried other collars – even a weird little suit with straps – she let me play with them and then she threw them around the room for a few days like she didn’t care about them but I think – she’s not gonna put me in a cage..

I do have this problem when I see dogs across the street I really don’t understand why I do this but I kind of lose control which seems to upset my owner because she’s screaming NO and trying to pull me away – I can’t figure out what part of danger she doesn’t understand …at least I got a nice car ride after that ..  to a lady who seemed to have lots and lots of dogs – she talked with my owner for a while and then she went away and came back with a little dog – I didn’t know what I was supposed to do so I didn’t do anything – then I was supposed to wait and she came back with a bigger dog and I didn’t wanna have anything to do with that dog – and then she went away and came back with a really horrible big dog that was growling and barking and lunging towards me and I just couldn’t figure out why my owner was doing this! what was I supposed to do? So I hid behind Her – the lady said I was having a meltdown..

then my owner also took me to her friends house who have two dogs that I was supposed to have met before – so this other lady grabbed the my leash and walked into the house – my owner was still outside and inside there was lots of danger and everyone was shouting and screaming and there was barking and growling and my owner kept yelling – get them in the backyard – so my owner made it to the backyard where I was busy trying to destroy the danger and everyone was still yelling stop and so I finally decided to go and chase a ball. After that we all played for a while – my owner wasn’t playing and she looked unhappy – I’m sure she was thinking about her other dog or should I say dogs because she also had two Loberaders something or other and they were the best dogs  ever too – so what’s the point of even trying to be good..

 then my owner called another friend who is a GermaSheepher specialist – you know like those really mean guard dogs with a really nasty attitude but I guess when they’re trained they can be nice – anyway apparently she was going to get a dog from her but it didn’t work out. I heard about that dog too – how my owner regretted her decision ..I mean really? Does she think I’m deaf??

that trainer told my owner to see another trainer and off we went went to get help – which I guess my owner thought I needed.. .. it was not a very big room but it felt kind of new and scary and my owner was pulling me around and making me do stuff and giving me treats which I didn’t want and the trainer came out with some other treats and she said if she doesn’t take these – treats won’t work – so that really scared me and I ate the treat …boy it was yummy !!!  the trainer said it was frozen oregoni meat – the best treat and very expensive – I guess that means I have good taste!! – but I also wanted more and so I did more stuff – at one point the trainer said stop doing the salsa with your dog – I guess that means I’m not a very good dancer.. zero points for me..

anyway I was walking around with them  and we passed this cage a couple of times and I realized there was this huge dog I think his name was Brutus or Beuno or something – he was so big and the trainer said he was a Roderwel or Rotorouterwyler – whatever – and he just sat there looking at ME!  really?? I’m supposed to do stuff and listen to my owner?? what if they open the cage? so I pretended he wasn’t there – it’s kind of a Zen space I go to when the danger is really bad – but the trainer said I was in meltdown mode ..what does that mean?

of course my owner starts talking about her other dogs again and how her Laberonies and her Puyreeni were really great and did all the stuff  I was trying to figure out – yeah sure – they didn’t just weigh 30 pounds could’ve probably trashed that Beuno guy from what I heard – but this Brutus guy looked really bad – like really bad! So what was I supposed to do? my owner liked him! but didn’t seem happy with me – so I kept sitting every chance I got to get more of the yummy ogenni treats.. anyway when we got back in the car – which I love – she was very quiet all the way home (she usually sings with other people in the car nnd talks to them too) and this time there was no one except us..I felt bad – I think it had something to do with me but I didn’t know what to do and when we got home she was still quiet and played the piano for a couple of hours.. which I love…

I try to snuggle with my owner as much as possible  she seems to like it and sometimes when she cries I think I m making her feel better but I can’t be sure she’s not thinking about her other dogs so I try to think about what I’m good at – I always pee and poop in the yard – I let her know when I need to go – I don’t chew on stuff and I stay in bed until she’s ready to get up and I don’t ever wake her up …I heard her say that to someone that was one of my good qualities!!  yay.. one point for me!!

there’s still that problem across the street – the danger problem – the other day I was sure I had to get across the street and eliminate the danger – unfortunately my owner wasn’t ready to run across the street with me and dragged me around the corner and pushed me down to the ground – I was scared there was so much danger – but then I forgot about it when we kept going – I could tell she was not happy – so it was back to the trainer where Bruno or Buster or whatever was – and apparently I was getting a new spiky silver collar – I liked it!!  it makes me look like a scary dog and I need that!! so I now have three collars – one that says who I am and smells like me – one that’s like a little suit and now my big spiky silver collar. ..unfortunately I was a little overconfident and tried to take out a really big mean Gery shepher  – that spike collar – it made me stop – I think I get that I’m not supposed to do that..

how can I make my owner love me or at least keep me? I know her other dogs were really beautiful and I know I’m not and I know she loved them so much and I wish I were them but I’m not so I guess it’s up to me – but it’s also up to her because I’ll never be them.. I’m always so happy when we go for walks and she comes home from shopping and she usually brings me a toy – which must mean she likes me – and she’s very nice to me but I’m still not sure about her – she seems to go up and down and sometimes it feels like she doesn’t know I’m there – she said I have no idea where you are in the house – I always knew where he was (her big huge – probably as big as the whole sofa dog..) …..I don’t get it! !! I’m usually on the sofa too..  apparently he was all white with long fluffy hair, beautiful brown eyes that looked orange in the sun ..and this is really weird – she has this really big plastic bin in her garage filled with hair and I heard her tell someone it was from one haircut from her big dog!

you could put three of me in that bin – one haircut???  is that possible? And why does she still have it???

To be continued….